- Efficient sex," also known as a "quickie," is common in long-term relationships.
- "Efficient sex" is fast, direct, and based on what a person knows will work to give their partner pleasure and reach orgasm.
- Most people long for the non-efficient sex that is common at the beginning of a relationship and associated with higher satisfaction and desire.
"He asked me, 'What should we do this Saturday?' While I would have liked to have said, 'Let’s enjoy each other’s bodies,' I didn’t," said Jen, 38.
Jen believed that the sex she would inevitably have with her husband of nine years would be the same as it usually was—rushed. They would “get off” and, well, get on with life. “I know he wants more sex, but I just can’t ramp up that quickly,” she said.
“Why do you think he wouldn’t want to have sex for longer periods?” I asked.
She didn’t hesitate, blurting out a list of evidence: He bolts up and puts on clothes directly after sex (after he comes); he says things like, “We have better things to do than dilly-dally in bed," and he changes the subject when she suggests they plan a sexual evening. “It was different at the beginning of our relationship,” she added wistfully.
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