Fantasizing About Someone Else During Sex: How Much Is Too Much?

If you’re in a monogamous relationship, then you’ve already agreed not to wander into bed with someone else. Going there in your mind, however, is something else entirely. Fantasies are fair game. And they’re also almost impossible to police. Though our partners may want to assume themselves the only erotic muse around, the reality is some understudy has probably graduated to the lead role in our mental movies on far more than one occasion. Chances are you fantasize about someone else during sex. But does that habit ever pose a problem? 

“Having sexual fantasies of someone other than your long-term partner is completely natural,” says Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford, a marriage and family therapist. “Erotic fantasies are often pleasant daydreams that can be used to explore one’s creative side, act upon sexual desires we have difficulty acting out in ‘real life.’”

Fantasizing About Someone Else During Sex: How Much Is Too Much?