Cunnilingus, or oral sex, is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Since most vagina-havers experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation and not intercourse, it’s also a near surefire way to ensure sexual satisfaction in a relationship.
But our partners aren’t always sure we want it and, to be honest, a lot of people with vaginas aren’t always sure they want to receive it. We think about the way our vaginas look. How they smell. Whether our partner is enjoying it and, because of a lot of internalized negativity toward our totally lovely vaginas, we can feel dirty. We wonder whether we look “normal” down there. And all of those insecurities keep us from relaxing and loving the moment (and for some folks this can get in the way of orgasm), while our partners often aren’t sure what to make of our “no, but yes, but are you sure you want to do that?” signals.
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